Monday, March 21, 2016

motherly imperfections

I can hear the tremble of her voice as her little lip quivers and she says, "Mommy, are you so really mad?"
Is this what it’s come to in our household? Have things gone so far that now my children can't even tear apart a used—and empty, I might add—Styrofoam cup without fear of angering me?
My daughter’s quiet, little voice—completely out of character for her boisterous existence—caught me so off guard that I paused and just stared at her for a brief moment. “No sweetheart, of course not, I was done with that and it was empty anyway so there’s no mess, let’s just pick up the pieces.”


Somewhere between trying to figure out how to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife, and the perfect person, I've gotten a little sidetracked. I've focused too much on the little things that don't matter and consequently, missing out on the things that do. The truth is, I'm just tired. I love my kids, I love my life, I love being a stat-at-home mom; but y'all... parenthood is not for the faint of heart. Lately I feel like I’ve been taking two steps forward one step back in the motherhood department. For every day I feel like I'm rocking it, there's another one where I'm discouraged by all the ways I'm failing. All the big plans and grand designs I'd had fall short from reality. There are far too many days where my voice is raised and my temper is short. Far too many days where I say no many more times than I say yes. Far too many days where I am a passive observer rather than an active participant in my children’s lives.


At the end of the day, I hope my kids know I'm here for them. I hope they know that my love for them is unconditional and never-ending. I want them to know that they live in a house where it's okay to make mistakes and messes, because heaven knows I do. I want them to know that I'm a work in progress, and if they help me we can figure out this whole parent/child relationship thing together.

As I've mentioned before, no one is perfect, least of all me. There was only one such person who ever lived, and it is because of Him that we are enough. It is because of Him that my imperfections as a mother will one day be made perfect. It is because of Him that I will get to be the mother of my children forever and all eternity.

24 comments:

  1. Such a beautiful post. We all have those days. You're an amazing mom and doing the best (most rewarding and least appreciated) job ever! Hang in there mama, those days of rocking motherhood more days than not are right around the corner!

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    1. Thanks Sara, I appreciate your words of encouragement!

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  2. This is such a sweet post! We hope to have a little one in the very near future and these are great words to keep in mind! xoxo

    Rebecca || www.simplysapough.com

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    1. Thank you Rebecca, I am hoping for that for you as well!

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  3. This is a beautiful post. Thank you for this much-needed words!

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  4. Wonderful post. I hope many people see this

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  5. Amen! It's all because of Him. You have such a beautiful family. So glad He strengthens and helps us all in our imperfections

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    1. Thanks for your sweet compliment Caroline! I am forever thankful for His love and goodness.

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  6. Such a beautiful sentiment from a beautiful mother <3

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    1. Oh my goodness, thank you so much Shane! Very sweet of you to say.

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  7. Motherhood is hard but so worth it. Nothing could prepare me for it and I hear you I am so exhausted too. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

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    1. Totally agree Nicole, I wouldn't trade it for anything. So thankful because I know there are people out there that would love to have even my hardest days.

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  8. Oh girl, you hit the nail on the head with this one! I feel the same... I love my life and everything about it, but sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motions and not actively participating in my kid's lives. I too take two steps forward and then a huge step back. It's sooo worth it though. I pray every night for the strength to be a better mom and for my kids to know how much I love them. Thank you for sharing and letting others know we are not alone. You're a wonderful mom!

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    1. Thanks so much for your sweet comment Ashleigh. As an outside observer your family always seems so glued together and actively involved in each others lives with your amazing trips you go on, so it's nice to hear that even you feel this way sometimes. I mean, I'm sorry you feel that way... but you know what I mean. :)

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  9. Beautifully written. I think all of us mothers feel these exact feelings at some point! You are doing a good job. You are enough :)

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    1. I agree, I think we do too, but when we have them ourselves I think we tend to forget that we're not alone. :)

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  10. It's so wonderful to remember that we're enough for our kids even though we're not perfect.

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    1. Thank you. I really think that most mothers, at one point or another, probably can relate; but so often when we're in the thick of it we're just really hard on ourselves and feel like we're all alone in not being a good enough mother.

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  12. I love this! Let me start by offering you some encouragement - if you're taking two steps forward and one back you are still moving in the right direction. Second, for every day "you're rocking it" there are some days you aren't - well, I'm sure you're being hard on yourself, so when you're rocking it - you are really blowing things out of the water, awesome for your kids. And those days when (emphasis here) - you - feel like you aren't rocking it. You are likely still doing an extraordinary job, just judging yourself harshly. Be quick to forgive yourself - your children are. Also if you're interested I run a Faith and Family Bloggers Facebook group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/205858476430446/) I think you'd be an awesome fit if you'd like to join! Happy Easter.

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    1. Thank you so much for your wonderful comment and your sweet invitation to join the Facebook group Brittany! I've requested to join, have a beautiful day!

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